This was a question posed by a mother on a message board I frequent. She is a stay at home mom with a one year old. She says she seems to be the only mom who doesn’t look her best and other moms seem to be mothering effortlessly.
There were very many great answers full of encouragement. We all were trying to tell her that just do the best you can and not to compare yourself to others. It is just an illusion that others have it more together than you do. Typical to my fashion, I tried to help answer her question with humor. Below was my comment back to her:
“No mom has it all together ALL the time. We all have our good days and bad.
Me? I don't always do my hair. I do put on a little makeup before leaving the house so I don't scare small children. My 17 month old is used to mommy looking scary without her "face on". I do shower everyday and try and put a clean shirt on, but that's about it. My house isn't filthy, but I would be very embarrassed if someone dropped by.
Why is it that no one ever comes by unexpectedly right after your house is clean? I only seem to get people who knock on my door when the munchkin just poured juice all over the floor; he and the dog are spreading it throughout the house; the garbage can is overflowing with dirty diapers; dishes overflowing the sink; dust on the furniture is deep enough to transplant a philodendron in; and I haven't had time to put on my face let alone put a clean shirt on with a bra on.
What my rambling is trying to say is, try and enjoy life. Look at yourself and your life with lots of humor and appreciate all you do have and all you can do. And those other moms you are unfairly comparing yourself to? I bet if you went up to them and asked them how do they look so put together, they would gasp at you in horror and disbelief.
Cut yourself some slack. You've only been on the job for a year. The hardest job in the world takes a lifetime to get it right.”
Have you ever compared yourself to someone who seems to be doing better than you? We all do I think from time to time, especially us moms. We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other. It only makes us feel inferior, like we can’t be as good as they are. That’s unfair to ourselves and can cause a cycle of depression that can be hard to break free from.
So the next time you see a mom with kids who seems to have it all together, go up and ask her how she does it. You will probably get one of two answers. Either she will be eager to share with you some great tips or she’ll break down into tears and exclaim she thought you looked like the mom who had it all together.
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