As I stand here for what feels like the millionth time doing
dishes, I feel the weariness settle in.
Today being like most days passed by in a blink of an eye.
The night is closing in fast and I feel the urgency to hurry up and get done so
I can go on to the next task. I sigh deeply and think about all that still needs to be
done before I get to lay my head down.
I straighten up and crack my aching back and I find myself
feeling jealous of all those other lucky moms that have a working dishwasher. Money
is so tight that some things just have to wait their turn to be repaired or
replaced.
I feel so alone and while I listen to my husband and son
watch TV and relax, I feel the anger start to creep up. I feel angry over how I
never get to “clock out” of my job. I feel angry over the fact that I worked
hard to put a nice dinner on the table and no one bothered to say thank you. I
feel angry at all these dirty dishes I have to wash by hand. I plunk another
wet plate down into the dish drain.
It was at that moment that I heard it – the thought. The
thought, those words that only can come from Him, God. And he said, “It could
be like before, you know. Quiet, dark, lonely and not as many dishes to wash.
Remember?”
I remember, Lord. I remember that emptiness, the loneliness,
the sadness. Thank you for reminding me. Thank you for the many dirty cups,
plates and piles of crumbs under the table. Thank you for the constant interruptions
and endless messes to clean up.
I smile with wearied joy as one of my messy interruptions trots
in to tell me about one of his toy cars. He turns to walk away as I put one
more wet plate in the dish drainer, this time with a more gentle hand. Then I
hear him say, “I love you, Mama.”
Then I feel the warmth of love poor over me from above and
from below from my sweet little one. I reply my, “I love you , too honey.” With
a sense of gratefulness that had been lacking just moments earlier.
Funny how fast chores go when you look at them in the new
light of being grateful for having so much to do and the ability to do them.
