My son is almost 18 months old. He is such a joy to my husband and I and a true miracle. Born to a mom who wasn't supposed to be able to have children and a dad who wasn't supposed to be able to have any more (long story), he is truly a miracle from God.
Many have asked how the birthing went and I have shared my story of having a natural birth using Hypnobirthing. If you are planning on having a baby I highly recommend looking into Hypnobirthing as a way to experience having a baby without all the medications, pain and fear that can come with it.
My birth story didn't go the way I planned, but it ended up the way I wanted. It just took a lot of detours. My Hypnobirthing instructor asked for me to share my story shortly after with her so she could pass it on to her students as a way to show that things don't always go as planned and what to do.
I had a wonderful doula who helped me tremendously and of course a wonderful husband who stayed with me the whole time.
I am sharing this story here after all this time since many have asked about it. I hope it inspires you to look into natural birthing methods.
For information on Hypnobirthing visit their site hypnobirthing.com
You can also check your local listings and hospitals for Hypnobirthing instructors and doulas.
Note: I keep referring to the word "surges". Surges are what others may call labor pain. But surges (labor) are not meant to be painful if you know what to do. That is what the Hypnobirthing teaches you - how to handle labor and birth without the pain. Sounds unbelievable? It's not, it's real and how it was meant to be. Check it out, you won't be disappointed. You have nothing to lose but pain and fear.
Here's my story as told to my instructor back in February 2008:
Hi Sharon,
Hope all is well with you. Below is my birth story, but it may not necessarily be one you will want to share with the class unless you are using it to make the point of what to do when things don’t go as planned. That and how strong the mind can be when you really want something bad enough.
Sorry about the extreme length, but laboring for 4 days tends to add quite a bit to the story.
My son was born on Thursday - 8.6 lbs – 22 ½ in.
We didn’t get to come home till Sunday.
I worked Friday and had been having surges erratically off and on for the last week or so. The following Sunday night they got more intense and were regular at about 10 minutes apart going down to about 6 minutes apart. We called Eileen, our Doula just to give her a heads up it may be tonight and she might want to get some rest in case we need her later. She said to call her when they reach 3-4 minutes apart. They never did.
The surges really didn’t hurt as they were mostly felt as pressure, but what really did hurt extremely bad was my back. See, I have bad discs in my lower back and that is where the extreme pain set in. I was able to use the hypnobirthing breathing to get through each surge, but it had to be done while standing up. I could not lie down or sit due to the severe pain in my back I assume from muscle spasms.
Monday, same thing. The surges from Sunday spaced out to about 20 minutes apart, then to 10, then to 6 and the same thing for Monday. We called Eileen to keep her updated and alert her to the issue with the back pain and how I was having to labor the entire time on my feet leaning over the kitchen counter. My husband would apply very strong pressure to my lower back with the surges.
Tuesday, more of the same. Surges hovered around 5 minutes apart. I was exhausted due to lack of sleep and all the hours of laboring on my feet. Five or ten minutes sitting or laying down is all I could handle before my back would spasm so bad I was in tears and struggle to get to my feet. Eileen came and brought a labor/birthing tub that you inflate. They filled it with warm water and oh did it feel good to get in it. She also suggested castor oil to help induce labor. I had tried everything else. Let me tell you, castor oil is really nasty to get down and you definitely need a “chaser” of some type. It pretty much tastes how it looks – like motor oil. Well, back to the tub. It felt good for the first 20 minutes or so, then the back spasms hit again, this time with even more intensity. They were so bad I couldn’t help but cry out loud and at times was paralyzed unable to move. With their help I was able to get out of the tub and back into my standing position to ride out the surges.
Eileen said we need to go to the hospital, this isn’t good.
Luckily the hospital is only about 10 minutes away. I was able to get out of the car and walk by myself into emergency (it was close to midnight). I actually felt great at that point other than being a little tired. The funny part was the guy at the front desk getting nervous as I breathed through my surges and smiled and joked at the same time. He hurriedly asked for a wheelchair and stared in disbelief when I said no, I can walk just fine. I then proceeded to walk briskly to the elevator. Remember, surges (labor pains) are not meant to hurt and they really don’t if you know how to handle them. ‘
So again the surges I could handle with breathing no problem, but when the back spasms would hit, it was all I could do to get through them, but I did with very intense concentration and breathing. I really thought it would be over soon and probably wouldn’t get much worse. I was wrong.
Once admitted and in the bed of course it wasn’t long before I was out of bed holding on to the sides trying to ride out the surges with the back spasms. They were getting worse, I was exhausted from laboring on my feet for the past few days and everyone kept saying they couldn’t believe I was still standing. I just did not want to spoil my plans of a beautiful hypnobirth without any meds. I was just determined that as long as the baby’s heartbeat was good and he wasn’t stressed I could I get through this. Well, I will fast forward to the worse part.
After laboring for all day Wednesday and late into the night, I reluctantly made the decision to go with an option to help me with the back spasms. I accepted a dose of Nubain (sp?) This allowed me to lie down for a while and sleep for about an hour. I thought ok, I can still do this, but the spasms returned. After trying to ride them out again on my feet I finally made the decision I didn’t want to make - get an epidural. Now no one ever pressured me into it, or kept offering it. This was a decision I made on my own based on what I felt was best for the baby and for me as I knew labor wasn’t progressing and it was only a matter of time before I would have to have a C-section. A C-section was something I felt was a worse failure than an epidural.
My heart and mind wanted to go totally without meds, but my poor body just couldn’t do it anymore and I knew it. Much to the relief of my husband, my doctor and the nurses I asked to see the Anesthesiologist. I told her I only wanted enough to relieve the spasms in my back. The labor surges were nothing to handle, it was just my back. I asked if I could have a “light” version as I wanted to feel all of the birth. I was told I would be very numb at first, but it would wear off in time. I reluctantly agreed. Though I must admit, it was such a relief to lie down and rest.
I wasn’t prepared for the numbness. I cried when they told me my water broke on its own and my surges were now 2-3 minutes apart. I couldn’t feel anything. I was so depressed as I felt I was watching my dream of a beautiful hypnobirth go down the drain. I cursed my back injury. But the epidural allowed my back spasms to receded and allow the uterus to do its job of pushing down the baby. Part of my pain was the uterus was pushing down, but the back muscles spasms were stopping the baby from descending. He was very high until the epidural.
After a short nap I noticed feeling beginning to return rapidly to my legs and once again I could feel my surges, but not much back pain. I breathed my baby down and amazed the nurses at how fast I did so. They frantically called the doctor and asked me not to push till he got here. I wasn’t concerned, I felt I could once again do this as hypnobirthing mom. I pushed lightly a couple of times and when the doctor got there I had all the feeling back in my legs and abdomen and was ready to really breathe down and I did have to do some pushing as he was big boy with what I think was a big noggin! LOL!
I ignored whatever nurse was counting for me and directed my breathing where it was needed and for the length of time that was needed trying to work in harmony with the surges. At times I noticed it in my face and would immediately stop and redirect it properly. Eileen said she was pleased I was self directing and didn’t even give her the chance to help correct it. She said I caught it and corrected myself before she could say anything.
A few good pushes and his head was out. The doctor removed the cord that wrapped around his neck and the rest just slipped out. I did tear a little requiring stitches, but not much. He was shocked when he started and I said, “Ow! I can feel that needle.” He said, you can feel that?! I’m like, yeah, the epidural wore off before the baby even dropped down. Everyone seemed amazed.
I was thrilled that I got to experience my natural birth after all and felt everything. It just took a longer and harder time than expected to get there. I had many congratulations and words of amazement as I somehow ended up with a roomful of observers, but I was too into my breathing and concentrating to notice all the people till afterwards. Apparently my determination and story had passed around the halls and it seemed every available nurse wanted to witness it!
The baby’s heartbeat the whole time remained strong and he was very alert and very hungry right away! He crawled up to the breast and nursed. (Yes, newborns can crawl! A special trait they have in order to be able to nurse.) I was ecstatic and relieved! Oh, and I got up soon afterwards and walked to the restroom without much problem. I was very weak from the extra long labor, but it wasn’t from the meds luckily.
Later that day my son developed some breathing problems due to possible inhaled fluid and required a stay in the NICU till Sunday, but he’s fine now. None of his problems came from the prolonged birth I was told.
I highly recommend Eileen to anyone especially first time moms. She was a big help to my husband as well. Poor Eileen, she spent a lot of hours with me helping me through the agony and deserves way more than I could pay her. I also recommend my doctor who never pushed me. He knew how badly I wanted a natural birth. But later he told me he was getting ready to do a C-section and I wasn’t far from it when I made my decision because the baby couldn’t drop.
I also would say the hospital has the best staff. For the 5 days we stayed there I never met a nurse I didn’t like. I have no complaints and am very grateful to them all. They took excellent care of me and my son when he needed them. They understood my wish for the birth I wanted, supported me when I needed them and helped through the scary times of his condition afterwards. They are the best. And the anesthesiologist, who gave just enough pain relief to get me past that point and let me have the natural birth after all.
To you Sharon, I say thank you for your classes and encouragement. I am so very grateful for finding them and you.
Most of all my thanks and extreme gratitude goes to husband, my best friend. I could never have done this without him. I know it had to be so hard to watch me go through the agony I did, but never once did he falter. He supported me through it all. He caught the baby, cut the cord and laid him on me. A moment we will cherish forever. He told me I must be the strongest woman in the world to go through all that. I just think my love for my baby and wanting him to have the best is where it came from. That and from God of course. I am so blessed. Remember, we were supposed to not be able to have children to begin with! Now we have a perfect little blessing.
Sorry about the extended length of this story. I’m sure Eileen and my husband would say I left a lot out, but hey, there’s nothing like labor amnesia!
Feel free to edit and share anything you might find useful.
Take care.
Julie
Hope all is well with you. Below is my birth story, but it may not necessarily be one you will want to share with the class unless you are using it to make the point of what to do when things don’t go as planned. That and how strong the mind can be when you really want something bad enough.
Sorry about the extreme length, but laboring for 4 days tends to add quite a bit to the story.
My son was born on Thursday - 8.6 lbs – 22 ½ in.
We didn’t get to come home till Sunday.
I worked Friday and had been having surges erratically off and on for the last week or so. The following Sunday night they got more intense and were regular at about 10 minutes apart going down to about 6 minutes apart. We called Eileen, our Doula just to give her a heads up it may be tonight and she might want to get some rest in case we need her later. She said to call her when they reach 3-4 minutes apart. They never did.
The surges really didn’t hurt as they were mostly felt as pressure, but what really did hurt extremely bad was my back. See, I have bad discs in my lower back and that is where the extreme pain set in. I was able to use the hypnobirthing breathing to get through each surge, but it had to be done while standing up. I could not lie down or sit due to the severe pain in my back I assume from muscle spasms.
Monday, same thing. The surges from Sunday spaced out to about 20 minutes apart, then to 10, then to 6 and the same thing for Monday. We called Eileen to keep her updated and alert her to the issue with the back pain and how I was having to labor the entire time on my feet leaning over the kitchen counter. My husband would apply very strong pressure to my lower back with the surges.
Tuesday, more of the same. Surges hovered around 5 minutes apart. I was exhausted due to lack of sleep and all the hours of laboring on my feet. Five or ten minutes sitting or laying down is all I could handle before my back would spasm so bad I was in tears and struggle to get to my feet. Eileen came and brought a labor/birthing tub that you inflate. They filled it with warm water and oh did it feel good to get in it. She also suggested castor oil to help induce labor. I had tried everything else. Let me tell you, castor oil is really nasty to get down and you definitely need a “chaser” of some type. It pretty much tastes how it looks – like motor oil. Well, back to the tub. It felt good for the first 20 minutes or so, then the back spasms hit again, this time with even more intensity. They were so bad I couldn’t help but cry out loud and at times was paralyzed unable to move. With their help I was able to get out of the tub and back into my standing position to ride out the surges.
Eileen said we need to go to the hospital, this isn’t good.
Luckily the hospital is only about 10 minutes away. I was able to get out of the car and walk by myself into emergency (it was close to midnight). I actually felt great at that point other than being a little tired. The funny part was the guy at the front desk getting nervous as I breathed through my surges and smiled and joked at the same time. He hurriedly asked for a wheelchair and stared in disbelief when I said no, I can walk just fine. I then proceeded to walk briskly to the elevator. Remember, surges (labor pains) are not meant to hurt and they really don’t if you know how to handle them. ‘
So again the surges I could handle with breathing no problem, but when the back spasms would hit, it was all I could do to get through them, but I did with very intense concentration and breathing. I really thought it would be over soon and probably wouldn’t get much worse. I was wrong.
Once admitted and in the bed of course it wasn’t long before I was out of bed holding on to the sides trying to ride out the surges with the back spasms. They were getting worse, I was exhausted from laboring on my feet for the past few days and everyone kept saying they couldn’t believe I was still standing. I just did not want to spoil my plans of a beautiful hypnobirth without any meds. I was just determined that as long as the baby’s heartbeat was good and he wasn’t stressed I could I get through this. Well, I will fast forward to the worse part.
After laboring for all day Wednesday and late into the night, I reluctantly made the decision to go with an option to help me with the back spasms. I accepted a dose of Nubain (sp?) This allowed me to lie down for a while and sleep for about an hour. I thought ok, I can still do this, but the spasms returned. After trying to ride them out again on my feet I finally made the decision I didn’t want to make - get an epidural. Now no one ever pressured me into it, or kept offering it. This was a decision I made on my own based on what I felt was best for the baby and for me as I knew labor wasn’t progressing and it was only a matter of time before I would have to have a C-section. A C-section was something I felt was a worse failure than an epidural.
My heart and mind wanted to go totally without meds, but my poor body just couldn’t do it anymore and I knew it. Much to the relief of my husband, my doctor and the nurses I asked to see the Anesthesiologist. I told her I only wanted enough to relieve the spasms in my back. The labor surges were nothing to handle, it was just my back. I asked if I could have a “light” version as I wanted to feel all of the birth. I was told I would be very numb at first, but it would wear off in time. I reluctantly agreed. Though I must admit, it was such a relief to lie down and rest.
I wasn’t prepared for the numbness. I cried when they told me my water broke on its own and my surges were now 2-3 minutes apart. I couldn’t feel anything. I was so depressed as I felt I was watching my dream of a beautiful hypnobirth go down the drain. I cursed my back injury. But the epidural allowed my back spasms to receded and allow the uterus to do its job of pushing down the baby. Part of my pain was the uterus was pushing down, but the back muscles spasms were stopping the baby from descending. He was very high until the epidural.
After a short nap I noticed feeling beginning to return rapidly to my legs and once again I could feel my surges, but not much back pain. I breathed my baby down and amazed the nurses at how fast I did so. They frantically called the doctor and asked me not to push till he got here. I wasn’t concerned, I felt I could once again do this as hypnobirthing mom. I pushed lightly a couple of times and when the doctor got there I had all the feeling back in my legs and abdomen and was ready to really breathe down and I did have to do some pushing as he was big boy with what I think was a big noggin! LOL!
I ignored whatever nurse was counting for me and directed my breathing where it was needed and for the length of time that was needed trying to work in harmony with the surges. At times I noticed it in my face and would immediately stop and redirect it properly. Eileen said she was pleased I was self directing and didn’t even give her the chance to help correct it. She said I caught it and corrected myself before she could say anything.
A few good pushes and his head was out. The doctor removed the cord that wrapped around his neck and the rest just slipped out. I did tear a little requiring stitches, but not much. He was shocked when he started and I said, “Ow! I can feel that needle.” He said, you can feel that?! I’m like, yeah, the epidural wore off before the baby even dropped down. Everyone seemed amazed.
I was thrilled that I got to experience my natural birth after all and felt everything. It just took a longer and harder time than expected to get there. I had many congratulations and words of amazement as I somehow ended up with a roomful of observers, but I was too into my breathing and concentrating to notice all the people till afterwards. Apparently my determination and story had passed around the halls and it seemed every available nurse wanted to witness it!
The baby’s heartbeat the whole time remained strong and he was very alert and very hungry right away! He crawled up to the breast and nursed. (Yes, newborns can crawl! A special trait they have in order to be able to nurse.) I was ecstatic and relieved! Oh, and I got up soon afterwards and walked to the restroom without much problem. I was very weak from the extra long labor, but it wasn’t from the meds luckily.
Later that day my son developed some breathing problems due to possible inhaled fluid and required a stay in the NICU till Sunday, but he’s fine now. None of his problems came from the prolonged birth I was told.
I highly recommend Eileen to anyone especially first time moms. She was a big help to my husband as well. Poor Eileen, she spent a lot of hours with me helping me through the agony and deserves way more than I could pay her. I also recommend my doctor who never pushed me. He knew how badly I wanted a natural birth. But later he told me he was getting ready to do a C-section and I wasn’t far from it when I made my decision because the baby couldn’t drop.
I also would say the hospital has the best staff. For the 5 days we stayed there I never met a nurse I didn’t like. I have no complaints and am very grateful to them all. They took excellent care of me and my son when he needed them. They understood my wish for the birth I wanted, supported me when I needed them and helped through the scary times of his condition afterwards. They are the best. And the anesthesiologist, who gave just enough pain relief to get me past that point and let me have the natural birth after all.
To you Sharon, I say thank you for your classes and encouragement. I am so very grateful for finding them and you.
Most of all my thanks and extreme gratitude goes to husband, my best friend. I could never have done this without him. I know it had to be so hard to watch me go through the agony I did, but never once did he falter. He supported me through it all. He caught the baby, cut the cord and laid him on me. A moment we will cherish forever. He told me I must be the strongest woman in the world to go through all that. I just think my love for my baby and wanting him to have the best is where it came from. That and from God of course. I am so blessed. Remember, we were supposed to not be able to have children to begin with! Now we have a perfect little blessing.
Sorry about the extended length of this story. I’m sure Eileen and my husband would say I left a lot out, but hey, there’s nothing like labor amnesia!
Feel free to edit and share anything you might find useful.
Take care.
Julie
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