I had to get a MRI today and it was quite an experience. The funny part was, I almost left without an important part of my clothing – my bra.That was the only item I had to take off. Of course that was after the technician used one of those airport metal detector wands all over me, in full view of everyone in the waiting room. Though I remembered to leave my wedding band and watch at home, I wasn’t thinking about wearing a bra with an underwire in it when I left the house. The wand made that fact obviously clear.
So the technician informed me I had to go and remove my bra, but I could leave my shirt on if I wanted. Gee, that was nice of him to offer that. In the room where he pointed for me to go had lockers in them with keys in the locks. You are to remove what items are offensive to the MRI magnets, lock the locker and bring the key with you. Luckily for me, I remembered to lock my car key in it, too. If it wasn’t for that, I’m sure I would have left without my bra.
After I emerged from the dressing room, or should I say the undressing room, I peeked around the corner and didn’t see the tech. So I folded my arms across my chest by starting at the bottom of my stomach moving my arms upward to gather “them” up if you know what I mean. I sat down in the chairs outside the room where the machine was. I tried to read a magazine without unfolding my arms, but felt a little awkward trying to the turn the pages with my nose.
Finally the tech came and asked more questions. All the while I shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and squeezed my arms tighter around my chest hoping to keep both boobs covered without one falling down below my folded arms. Hey, let’s face it, they don’t point straight ahead anymore.
I hate MRI’s. You have to lay perfectly still for like 20 minutes and when I have to do that, I always have itches pop up all over my body. Very uncomfortable! That, and if you weren’t claustrophobic before you went in, you sure will be afterwards. The music is nice as you get to choose the music venue, but it doesn’t take your mind off the fact that your nose itches the whole time and you can’t move!
After I was done, I jumped off the table before it was even lowered all the way. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. In my effort to escape, I had to walk past all these people, with my arms folded across me so they wouldn’t see anything when I realized all I had was the locker key! I had almost made it to the exit when I realized I was leaving without my car keys and my bra! Doh!
I’m sure I was an interesting sight almost running back down the hallway with my arms folded across my chest. Have you ever tried to run with your arms folded? I looked like a dork. To make matters worse, when I got to the undressing room, it was occupied by the next victim! So I had to wait outside of the room while people walked by. This person took forever. By then my fingers were turning blue because of me hugging myself so tight. Finally when this person emerged I noticed it was a man and he still had all his clothes on! What took him so long? All he had to do is empty is pockets! I would have slapped upside the head, but that would have meant I would have had to use my arms to do so.
I almost shoved him aside with my shoulders as I darted inside the room. I quickly got dressed, picked up my car key and hightailed it out of there like the place was on fire. Only to be stopped by the woman at the front desk who informed me I had to wait for the films to be developed to take with me. I could feel the blood flushing my cheeks as I sat down in the chair. I was too embarrassed to even look at anyone. I stared at a carpet that had no pattern to it till I almost had a seizure from staring at nothing for so long. The whole time I was wondering which funny video TV show they would sell the film of me running down the hall with my arms folded to. The weird part was while I was sitting there, I was still hugging myself.
I prefer to blend into the background when I go to the doctors or to have testing done. I don’t think I accomplished that this time. My advice is, if you need a MRI, remember to wear a soft cup bra with no underwire. You’ll thank me for it later.
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