I got up at 7:00 AM kind of late for me, but the munchkin was sleeping in, so I thought I would, too. I would later regret this decision as it caused me to have a stiff neck. I plucked my eyebrows and then spent the next few minutes staring into the mirror at how old my face seems to be getting. I started to reminisce about my younger days and how my acne has now been replaced with wrinkles. I remember that old song which I can’t remember the name of and can’t remember the name of the artist who sang it, but the line goes something like, “…As I look in the mirror, all these lines and my face getting’ clearer…” Yep that’s me.
I then proceed to check emails, Facebook, message boards, to see if there are any nasty replies to any of my posts, etc. I watch the news and remember why I don’t like to. Ugh, all the bad news is enough to make you depressed. Isn’t there anything good to report on?
Then my son wakes up and can’t decide between an apple or a banana for the fruit of the morning. We end up having raisins with our cereal. Since he takes 3 times as long as I do to eat, I go back to the computer to check more stuff while he finishes up. I avert disaster as he tries to “help” me by carrying his bowl still half full of milk from the table to the sink. Not wanting to squash his eagerness to help with the dishes, but also not wanting a floor full of spilled milk, I do a 1.2 second 5 yard dash from the computer to the kitchen and catch the bowl just as the milk is starting to go over the edge. He refuses to let go of the bowl so we both carry the bowl over to the sink and that‘s when he decides to let go of it with a jerk sending the milk hurdling over the edge of the bowl. Oh well.
I then proceed to convince him that everyone goes to the potty in the morning and we manage to have a successful potty trip. After chasing a naked toddler around the house in an effort to dress him, I give up and decide to get dressed myself. As I change into my clothes I am reminded that my son is getting older and maybe I shouldn’t be changing in front of him anymore. At what age is it inappropriate to do that? I wonder to myself. I worry again about being a bad mom.
I go and make the bed, clean up the kitchen and take care of the dog who is dancing the jig as his bladder is about to bust. Since he is afraid of thunderstorms, he didn’t want to go out when I got up as it was raining. I try to explain this logic to the dog as he darts out the door. Yeah, like he gets it, I think to myself. My 2 year old decides he wants to feed the dog, which is his designated chore. So we do and that takes a minute or two because of course he spills some of it and has to pick up each piece one by one.
My 2 year old then proceeds to drag out half his toys from his room and insists I play with him which I do for awhile as it is something I should do now and then throughout the day. He then wants to go into his sister’s room and snoop around. I shoo him out of there and then proceed to cut out the coupons from the Sunday paper. After he spends 2 minutes in time out for ignoring my request not to throw all the coupons I cut onto the floor, I then insist he pick them all back up. What took a nano second to throw on the floor takes 3 minutes to pick back up.
Later we mess up the bed as we have a tickle fest. Making your child laugh out loud and hard enough to make him snort is a daily requirement in my book. Guaranteed to cure what ails ya.
It is after 11:00 by now and we are both hungry. After looking in the fridge twice and the cupboards a few times, we are able to narrow it down to soup or ravioli. Not the most nutritious lunch I know, but I’m not feeling like doing anything more than that. He decides on ravioli. I actually decide by stating that’s what he is having after he says ravioli, then no, soup, no ravioli…you get the picture.
After coaxing him to eat a bite then he can have another half of cracker till he’s full, he jumps down and proceeds to play on his own. I clean up, check the other websites I use for grocery deals and coupon match ups, print the online coupons I want and make my list. I decide I need a little me time this evening and will go to the grocery by myself after my husband gets home. Going to the grocery as me time is not my first choice, but I’ll take what I can get.
It is now the time at where I started this article. Since the idea hit me and he’s playing well on his own I decide to sit down to type.
I know if I want the phone to ring, my son to forget about using the potty and constant interruptions, then all I have to do is sit down at the computer. The phone rings and it is my husband calling to inform me that one of his friends is coming for dinner. I say, “Great. I will fix something nice.” I try and say it sweet like as I grit my teeth, frantically looking in the cupboard for something to fix and stare at the dirty kitchen floor I now have to mop, but remember my mop handle is broke and realize my dream of me time at the grocery store has been shot to you know where.
My son then proceeds to pee in his pants because he got too engrossed in play and didn’t tell me he had to go potty till after he already did in his pants and my husband, still on the phone, is telling me about the next idea he has for the engine he wants to put in his race project. I try to act interested as I multi task changing wet pants, try to stop son from running out of the bathroom naked, say “Uh huh” at the appropriate times in the phone conversation and search for the spray disinfectant to scrub the floor clean of pee with.
After I hang up, cleanup the pee on the floor, change the wet pants, convince my son to come and put dry pants on, shut the blinds to his room, pull out a book and read it to him, sing 3 songs and convince him to lay down and take a nap, I can now finally come back to the keyboard to finish the long story as to why I can’t get anything done.
It is now 1:00 and I have yet to do any laundry, clean any room or even brush my hair. I also just remembered I forgot to brush my teeth. I have company coming tonight for dinner and I have nothing to fix to eat and dirty floors in every room of the house.
Did I mention, I pulled a muscle in my neck and can barely turn my head to the side. Yep, I definitely need some time management help, but I don’t know when I would have time to take the class.
Does this sound like a day in your life? Gee, for your sake I hope not.
I have to go now, the phone is ringing again.
I had to come back and add this. That phone call I just got? The one that woke up my sleeping 2 year old? It was a friend of my husband I think who didn't lock his cell phone keypad and while he was talking to someone it dialed our number. My repeated, "Hello? Hello?" went unanswered as I listened to them talking. This happened two more times. Sigh. At least it gave me something to write about today.
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