Solitude

As a busy mom of a toddler who drag races (I race, not my toddler – just in case you needed that clarified - LOL) along with my husband who races, having time to myself is well, almost non-existent. I don’t even get much time alone in the bathroom! You can read my humorous post on that called, Things I Miss Now That My Baby Is A Toddler.

A recent article written on solitude talks about so many Americans have so little time alone. That is probably why carpooling never really caught on in this country. So many of us relish that time we have alone. Our lives are packed with so many people demanding our attention that the drive alone is our only source of solitude.

Still, solitude is very much needed in order to collect ourselves, to de-stress and to go inward to do some deep thinking. We need this time to ourselves for deep thought in order to work out solutions to our problems, to reflect on our blessings and to straighten things out in our head sometimes. We have so much going on in our lives today that it can get all jumbled. That can make us feel like we have lost control of our lives. Going inward and thinking deeply can help us sort through the mess and allow us to prioritize our thoughts. We can throw out what is not important and decide what is. In order to do this though, we need some quiet time alone.

If you don’t think you can find time to do this, try some creative thinking. If you can’t seem to work in long periods of time alone, try short bursts. Schedule it in if you have to, but remain flexible if your schedule changes frequently. Start with your drive in the car. If you always seem to be hauling someone then try and see if you can get someone to watch the kids and go to the grocery by yourself. You have to go to the grocery anyway, but the drive alone to and from the store is what you are looking for. When driving, try driving without the radio on for a change. It’s amazing how much thinking you can do while driving if it’s quiet. Just be sure to still stay alert to traffic and no talking on the phone!

Try to steal a few minutes to yourself after dinner. Proper digestion is crucial to health and running into the next task right after dinner is not good for your digestion. If family won’t allow you to just sit and relax then think of a task you can do that no one else wants to do. One task is doing the dishes. If people are constantly coming into the kitchen to ask you questions or whatever, threaten everyone that whoever comes into the kitchen will have to do the dishes! This threat works well when you want some time alone. Folding laundry is another one. They are tasks that don’t require a lot of concentration to do therefore allowing you the opportunity to be alone to think.

Spend five minutes of your lunchtime at work sitting still with your eyes closed. Try and find a place where you’ll be alone even if it means sitting in your car! If that won’t work or you enjoy your lunch time by socializing with your coworkers, then try and get to work 10 minutes earlier and just sit and meditate about your day ahead. You’ll be amazed at how much more centered and calm you will be during the day.

Try and set your alarm for five to ten minutes earlier and find a quiet place to sit and think. If you think you just can’t get up any earlier than you already do then take those five or ten minutes in the evening to yourself. Instead of dashing around after the kids go to bed trying to straighten the house spend that time to straighten your mind. You deserve that time alone to think about your day and deflate.

After doing this for a while you will get very good and efficient with your thinking time. This will allow you more time to learn how to become quiet in your mind as well. Meditation - where you think of nothing is also something that both our minds and bodies need. You will find that you can sort things out your mind quickly allowing you time to sit and meditate which allows you to empty your mind. Emptying your mind will help solutions to problems you have to come to you more easily and is one of the best ways to beat stress. I highly recommend learning how to meditate. It takes a little practice, but when you get the hang of it, it really can change your life.

Taking time alone helps us to be better parents, better spouses, better workers and overall happier in our lives. Solitude is required for our sanity and our happiness. Insist on it, make time for it and respect others need for it as well. You’ll find it recharges you and calms you all at the same time. Now that is multitasking!