Hospital Waiting Rooms

Yesterday, my husband had to have a medical procedure done to help relieve some bad inflammation he had in his back. (Hence, no story yesterday) This was an outpatient procedure done in the hospital. I wanted to go back to the operating room where he was to be there for him and to comfort him, but due the sterile environment, I wasn’t allowed. I would have washed my hands, still they wouldn't let me. I wanted to be there for him of course, but I wanted to watch, too! I would have kept my mouth shut….maybe. Though I probably would have ended up asking too many questions like, “What’s that?” or “Eww, that’s gross!” or “Can I try it?” On second thought, I probably wouldn’t have been much of a comfort to my husband, especially if they had let me try it. He knows how steady of a hand I have.

Most everyone at some point in time has been sitting in a hospital waiting room. Boring, isn’t it? The one I was in had only AARP and other retirement type of magazines. I’m sure they are good magazines if that content is relative to your life. To top it off, the only TV in the room was loudly playing some horrible soap opera that had the worst acting I have seen since, well, since the last time I was stuck in a waiting room that was playing a soap opera. I really hate that, too. I can’t stand soap operas. I know many people like them and that’s fine. I just don’t think the rest of us should be force to listen to them when we are prisoners of doctors and hospitals. I found myself desperately looking for a channel button and volume control on the TV, but there wasn’t any I could reach. Being that it’s mounted 8 feet off of the ground with no accessible buttons was an indication that this was our penance for having a loved one who needed medical attention. I could also feel the old women behind me getting ready to pull out their knitting needles to stab me if I changed the channel anyway. Interrupting their “stories” I’m sure would have ended up with me needing the medical attention.

I managed to find an old beat up magazine from 1992 that was designed for someone under 80, but I couldn’t find a complete article. It seems that on one side you have an article, but on the other side of the page is a recipe. Well, apparently they were good recipes because they had been ripped out of the magazine taking the story on the other side with it! Now I’ll never know what to do with all those leftovers in the refrigerator!

Ever notice, too that most of the other waiting prisoners are never very friendly? Do you think that they really aren’t friendly or are they just kicking themselves for not bringing their own reading material like I was? No one ever talks to anyone either. We just stare at the busy wallpaper designed by one of the mental health patients from the hospital or wonder why the painting on the wall looks just like the one you saw in the other hospital’s waiting room from last year. I wonder if they hire a certain type of artist to do specific type of paintings for waiting rooms? They do look rather similar, don’t you think?

The other thing I’ve noticed that’s the same no matter what hospital you go to is the restrooms. They are always clean, which is nice, but there is a certain smell to them that screams, “This is a medical establishment that has lots of germs!” It must be the hand soap, because every time you use it, it always smells like embalming fluid. Actually it smells like embalming fluid that has had some other weird chemical added to try and cover up the embalming fluid smell. This ends up creating a unique smell all its own that is reserved for only hospital restrooms. The bad part is no matter how many times you wash your hands later with your own soap at home, it seems like that smell stays with you for the whole day. It makes you wonder where they get that soap from. If it is some type of embalming fluid, then wouldn’t my hands look younger?

Of course, it seems that most all, but the most major of surgeries are done on an outpatient basis. I like to think of it as a kind of drive-through window or maybe more of a curbside pickup type of procedures. I used to think that the insurance companies that dictate this were wrong for doing so, but now that so many people are getting infections in the hospital, I agree that recuperating at home with clear directions for care is best. Who wants to stay in a boring hospital environment with a stranger in the next bed that snores, hacks up a lung every five minutes or gets obnoxious visitors everyday when you can stay in the comfort and privacy of your own home? Watching for signs of infection is the biggest drawback. That and a nagging wife that asks you constantly if there is anything you need. Add to it a toddler who constantly climbs up in the bed and jumps on you then maybe staying in a hospital room isn’t so bad after all.