Looking At Things Like a Child Does

Isn't is fun to watch a young child try and explain something they are so excited about? They can hardly get the words out. Their voices go up another octave, their eyes are wide with excitement and they can't be still. You can't help but get a little excited, too as you enjoy watching them.

As adults we tend to lose that enthusiasm. We lose that reckless abandon way at looking at the world and the way it works. We become cynical, complacent and dull. We fall into the trap of disbelief and live unenthusiastically.

Children look at things like it's the very first time because it is! They get excited over what we perceive are little things. They live in the moment and their moments change quickly. They jump from one thing to the next eagerly trying new things. They can't wait to see what's coming next. 

Children also believe even when they cannot see. They believe they deserve good things and that they will receive them. They have no reason to doubt. When did we stop believing? Jesus said himself, that unless we believe like the little children do, we will never receive all of God's blessings.

We grownups need to go back to the way of thinking about life as a child does.  To be enthusiastic about life because it is so wonderful. We need to look at this world and everything in it with wild eyed wonder.

And we need to do the one important thing most of us lose as we get older - believe even when we cannot see.

Believe in the good when all you see and hear is bad; believe in ourselves when no one else does; believe in others even when they make it hard for us to;  believe in God even when he appears silent when we pray. 

And believe in children and all they have to teach us.

Worth Reading

Below are some articles I have read recently that I liked. I hope you like them, too. Please share with us some articles and stories you have come across that you like and tell us why.

• Married & Dating (Each Other)  by the M.O.B. Society – We must make time for us as a couple. Finding childcare though is our main hang up, since we basically have none. How do you all  squeeze in couple time?

• Are We Serving Our Family Leftovers? by The Better Mom – a short article that reminds moms who do a lot for others outside the home to remember to serve your family first, then others. It can be a hard balance to strike. You want to help others, but not at the expense of taking care of your family. How do you find that balance?

• The Best Way to Balance a Busy Life by The Better Mom – another short article to gently help us to remember that we don’t need to be so busy. We must be very picky how we spend precious time. Do we really want our children adopting our hectic lives, or do we want them to learn how to be happy and peaceful? Don’t we deserve to be happy and peaceful, too? Yes! Yes, we do! Time to scale back to what really is important. Hard to do, yes, but we must do it. How do you balance your life?

• Hope for the Tired and Weary  by Mom Heart – I needed to read this today. I needed to be reminded that it’s OK to be weary and that everyone gets to that point. I think you will love what is said in this story, too, especially if you are weary.

• First Time Obedience, Really? Another View Into the Process by I Take Joy – This is a little longer, but so worth the time reading. It’s a collection of a few short things Sally has written on obedience in children. I needed this reminder as I tend to be too harsh with discipline and expect immediate obedience. It was the way I was raised and I see myself passing on that type of parenting. I want to be better than that. This is a good article. How do you view discipline? Are you a demand it now type of person, like me? If your children are older, what did you learn from teaching them discipline?

Teaching Moment: Being Bullied (just a little bit)

Having an only child has its drawbacks. One example is, your child has no experience in handling a bully that’s older and bigger than he is. Those with older siblings definitely have the advantage of experience in this situation.

Today I let my four year old son handle a problem on his own and then taught him later. A bully came up and forced him off of what he was playing on. We were at a playground and he was on a particular piece of playground equipment that only seats one at a time. There was another one just like it, but it was occupied by this bully’s sister. 

The bully was an older girl, I’m guessing to be about 9. She wanted on it and I saw her tell him to get off. He ignored her and kept on riding. She then worked her way onto the ride, eventually crowding him off. Since she didn’t shove him to the ground, etc, I did not intervene as I wanted to see how he would handle it. I would have intervened had it she became physical. And I wanted to intervene, believe me, I did! It irritated me that she did this to my baby and of course her mother was too busy talking on her cell phone the entire time we were there, to notice.

I know he’s faced squabbles over playground equipment and toys before, but this was the first time he had to deal with an older child. All the other events were with kids his own age and size.

Anyway, my son the entire time was looking at me for help on what to do. He was waiting for me to come and make it right, I’m sure. He finally gave up after he was forced off and came over to me. I was glad he didn’t come to me crying or pouting, he just seemed confused. He told me what happened and asked me what he could do. That’s when the teaching moment came in.

I told him that, yes what the girl did was mean and was wrong, but that sometimes kids are like that. I then told him I was happy he didn’t get mean back by shoving or hitting her, that would not have been right. I asked him what he thought he could have said to her. He shrugged and said he didn’t know. I went on to explain what he could have said and did to maybe have her stop and what to do if she didn’t or got rough with him.

It was very hard to watch him get bullied, even if it was only a little. At least I was there to monitor it in case it escalated and I was relieved it didn’t. I was proud of myself for not interfering, even though the Mama Bear in me wanted to! I knew it was something he had to experience without mom rushing in to help.

I know the time is coming though, when he’s going to be bullied by a child who will get nasty with him and want to fight. I just hope I know what to say to him when he comes to me then. I know what I did when I was a child – I was a scrapper. You pushed me and I pushed back – hard. And then the fight was on! But I had six older brothers. I was bullied everyday! 

It’s going to be hard for me to find the right way to teach my son that yes, I want him to stand up for himself and protect himself, but not turn into a bully himself either.

A new road to traverse pops up all the time, doesn’t it?

Have you ever had a child seriously bullied? How did you handle it?

A Child’s 10 Commandments

Janelle at The Better Mom did it again. She has a post that is so touching and worth reading - A Child’s 10 Commandments is something I know I need to be reminded of.

Our lives have been turned upside down lately and we are all feeling the strain. Our faith, our strength, everything  has been tested to the breaking point, and yesterday I failed as a mother.

I screamed at my son for whining and talking back. I made him cry. I utterly failed.
I took it all out on my son at that moment who did not deserve my short temper.
I begged for his forgiveness and for God's at my horrible actions. I felt ashamed.

I need to carry these commandments around in front of me, to remind me of the precious gift God has given me and to treat this gift as such.

Enjoy reading A Child’s 10 Commandments

Hailey's Cranio & BMP 2 Journey

Below is a story from a mom who has experienced a nightmare when it came to her daughter’s medical condition and her subsequent surgeries. This is a horror that no parent should have to endure.

I urge you to watch Hailey’s video, read the explanation below and decide for yourselves.

It is a lesson for all parents to learn.

Here is the link to the video: Hailey’s Cranio Journey

Hi Julie,

Hailey was diagnosed with Craniosynostosis at 4 months of age. Craniosynostosis is where the sutures in a baby's head will prematurely fuse not allowing for the brain to have proper brain growth.

When a suture fuses, surgery is required to fix the suture that is closed to reopen it. The child's skull bone is removed and taken to another table to fix and then is re-inserted into the head. If the surgery is not performed the chances of that the child developing seizures, blindness, chiari (the brain will start to push through the spinal tap), mental defects are very high depending on the severity.

BMP-2 is an implant that is used to help create bone. In some cases, there is not enough bone to be able to reshape the infants/child head, this is where they remove bone from another part of the body to place in these areas or use other known materials that work.

At the present time it is only FDA approved for re-peat adult spinal lumbar surgeries but has had a ton of bad publicity in the past year. The US Justice Department has fined the pharmaceutical company for its "off-Label" usage, which was an extreme off-label usage in Hailey's experiment as is not to be used on an immature skeleton.

The Senate was investigating them last year as well for its off-label usage. The FDA has also requested information as they have claimed that during trial experiments, the doctors that sent the trial experiment information to them was misleading as these doctors were paid thousand/millions of doctors in royalties for their experiments on the BMP-2 and they approved the BMP-2 in adult surgeries from these trial experiments. It is now today being said that BMP-2 is considered a carcinagentic (cancerous).

As a baby’s head growth and brain growth during the first year of life is very important. No one can tell us what will be her outcome as the BMP-2 was so thick with fake bone in areas that it was said that she would have never of expanded on her own as the bone was so thick that her brain at the time of the second surgery was trying to push but that it had been rubbing her bone, this is the Inter Cranial Pressure that I speak of.

During this time the brain tries to grow, the sutures are very important as the brain growth expands at a very fast rate thus allowing the open sutures to move and allow for this growth spurt.  

The second surgery is thought to be a success but there is no guarantee and they have told us this. Currently though, Hailey has been having a golf size bump protruding from her forehead region that is not normal. We are currently waiting it out to see what happens and continuing to monitor her for Inter Cranial pressure while this bump is not normal we are unsure of what will happen next. Her Plastic surgeon just requested again that we travel out to see him soon; we were just in NY in July for a follow up due to this bump on her forehead now. 

Lingering issues, she continues to have absence seizures, central apnea (brain telling the body to breath) no reflexes and we are trying to uncover what else. We just added a new Neurologist to her team in NY ….. She may need another cranio surgery, so at this time we are waiting to see what happens. Her jaw will need to be broken and reset when she turns five. She doesn't have enough room in her mouth for any more teeth and due to the cranio coronal sutures fusing it did not allow for proper facial growth. Her eyes have hypotolarism (spaced to close together) but that's the least of our concerns right now in her medical issues.

It's a VERY long story, hopefully I made this helpful?

Thank you!!!!!!! for all your help!!! 

Tricia

Note: Please keep in mind, I am only passing this information on as a support to this mother and her family to help educate the rest of us parents. We must scrutinize every medical procedure, ask lots of questions and understand everything being done when it comes to the medical care for our children. Then we must never stop searching for answers when we know in our hearts something is wrong.

My own son would have died as a newborn if I didn't insist that the pediatrician on call was wrong when she said nothing was wrong with him. I pushed and luckily found one nurse who insisted on further investigation, if nothing else to just to appease a worried new mom. 

To all their surprise, I was right. They then rushed him to the NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) He received the care he needed, albeit later than he should have, but thankfully it all turned out alright. I shudder to think about what might have happened if I had let the hospital staff convince me that there was nothing wrong. I listened to my mother's instinct and insisted they keep searching. Their tests were initially done I believe to shut me up, but it turned out to confirm my fears. 

Always listen to that mother's instinct.

Most medical professionals only have our children’s best interests at heart and would never intentionally do anything to cause harm, but just like in all professions, there may be exceptions.

In all fairness, I did not contact any of the medical professionals connected to this case because of the medical confidentiality involved. I am not related to Hailey or her family and therefore am not entitled to discuss her case. These restrictions prevent me from hearing the other side of the story and being able to present it here.

I assume no responsibility for this case and am merely passing along one mother’s story.

That being said, as a mom, you can probably guess who my thoughts go to.

Here is the link to the video: Hailey’s Cranio Journey

Julie

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