When you have a lot to do, it can be hard to find the
patience to let your little ones help. Children love to be in the middle of
everything, don’t they? And boy do they ever get in the way sometimes!
They love to “help” even when it means more work for us. But
I think we need to let them help us for them to feel valued. They need to know
they are needed and can be of some use. They live to please us and to be a part
of something.
I know there are many times I have been short with my son
when he’s tried to help me and said things like, “Not this time. I just need to
get this done!” What I didn’t realize at the time is that he needed to feel
useful. He felt the need to help me and to feel like he’s a contributing. He needed
to feel useful. All I ended up doing was just made him feel bad, like he was in
the way.
Ugh! I did it again! I hate those parenting failure moments!
Often times when I don’t let him help me, he gets frustrated
and even angry. He also gets his feelings hurt. When I deny him this
opportunity to feel helpful and to learn skills by working with me, I am making
him feel like he isn’t capable of helping me or that his help isn’t valued. And
I never want to make him feel that way.
Looking back, I see that even if I didn’t have the time to
let him help me with what I was doing, I should have looked around for a small,
out of the way job that he could do at the same time. That way I could have
completed my task quickly and still had made him feel useful.
I must learn to schedule more time to accomplish my daily
chores to allow for time for my young son to help me. Yes, it may take me
longer to get done and I may have to re-do it over later, but the payoff of him
learning new skills and more importantly, boosting his self esteem far
outweighs the benefit of scratching another chore off my To-Do list.
I love scratching off the chores on my list, but I love
showing my son how to write his letters more.
I love getting caught up on laundry, if only in my dreams,
but teaching my son how to separate the laundry into piles will serve him
better when he’s on his own and doesn’t want to end up with pink underwear.
I love having a clean house, but it sure is entertaining to
watch my little one wrestle with a bulky vacuum that is bigger than he is and
see the look of satisfaction and pride when he shows me how clean the rug is.
See, my most important job isn’t to balance the checkbook,
to do the dishes or keep the laundry pile under 30 ft high. My most important
job is being his teacher, his coach and his mama.
How do I want my son to remember spending his time with me? As
always making him feel like he was in the way or where he learned about doing
things for himself with his me right there to help him learn?
I think I know. It’s teaching him how to put the toilet
paper roll on right.
Julie
~If you
are a stay-at-home mom who has ever struggled to make ends meet, or a working
mother who would like to transition to a business that allows you to spend more
time with your family, then Project MAHMA is for you!
Project
MAHMA(Moms at Home Making A Difference…and
a Lot of Money!) is a global coalition of moms (and dads) who are earning an
income from home and giving themselves the gift of freedom— including more time
with their families—while at the same time offering others the gift of better
health and a better life.
